“What I need…is a strong drink and a peer group”—Douglas Adams

Greetings Dear Ones!

Sometimes I tell you very personal tales so you will see how Glamorous and Sexy the secret life of a seamstress is. Sometimes it’s so that you can hug yourself and thank your lucky stars your job does not require you to stab your thumbs repeatedly with seam rippers on a daily basis. Sometimes I just want to give those of us dedicated to living our lives as a warning to others the sense that we are not alone.

I am writing to you from beneath an oak tree in the shade of Hermit Hollow where I have been lying down, doing seamstress—ok, maybe just stress, yoga. It feels good to skip a day at the shop and lie here, watching the blue fall upward into blue between the leaves above me.

This week, my body, always looking for new and exciting ways to redecorate itself, temporarily gave up its struggle to grow a luxuriant mustache and decided to erupt in shingles instead. My torso looks like a third-grader’s rendition of a coral reef. Luckily (and true to form), we did only a half-ass job so only half of me is covered in angry bubble wrap. The little beings in charge of such things must have gotten distracted when the hornet stung me in the sheep shed (actually, it stung me in the leg) and decided it would be more fun to inflate my thigh to twice its normal size and set up a cellulitis. About 48 hours later, someone turned the central heating up way too high and left it there so I got a chance to go to the local ER and find out if the fever was from a. shingles, b. because my leg was infected, c. Covid-19. It was a pleasant enough visit. I enjoyed sitting in the air-conditioned waiting area with a clipboard, taking the little quiz I knew most of the answers to: i.e. Name? Date of birth? Address? Drug sensitivities? Insurance? What brings you here today? (just how existential is it ok to get on these questionnaires?) Only a few questions stumped me. I was given medicine that might make me dizzy and sent back to the Hollow to recline beneath this oak tree for three to five weeks until my symptoms dissipate.

Only I can’t:

Tomorrow, I close on the purchase of a new home! This could have a tiny something to do with the stress I am feeling. (Or maybe it’s just from watching too many White House press briefings...) The new house is a dream blend of Anne of Green Gables, Charlotte’s Web, Little House on the Prairie and Faerie land, all covered over with six years’ worth of weeds and neglect. A Project! Who knows, when we get out our swords and hack back all that bittersweet, we might find a sleeping Beauty! (“You’re more likely to discover rabbit drug dens and weasel crime scenes worthy of Redwall,” says a cynical young hermit.) Fearing I might be too feverish or dizzy to drive, our Noble Elder Hermit offers to drive me to today’s final walk-through. On the way home, a storm blows up and a dead tree slams down on the front end of his car, more than likely totaling it. We smell the broken gas line through the airconditioning vents.

Now, I am busy counting “things.” My Irish granny taught me that bad luck comes in threes. Are we done? Shingles, a wasp sting, a crushed car—that’s three, right? Do the three belong to me alone or is it collective? Is he on his first? Is there a time limit? What about my shoulder? Do we “count” that? If so, I’ve had my “three.” Can we chalk the write-off of the car to a simple, singular “no good deed goes unpunished?”and spare him two more ghastly events like having mice poop in the cutlery drawer, or a Jack Russell write his name on the couch? (Which, technically aren’t accidents, as there is clearly malice aforethought…) And what of the youngest hermit’s recent 8-hour bout of food poisoning from eating vegan hot dogs left in the back of the fridge for too long? How does that figure into the calculations? (We should have known those hotdogs were going off when they caused me to break wind so loudly that the sheep thought I was calling to them through an open window and they all paused their grazing to answer back…)

My father says, “Stop counting your troubles; count your blessings.” He’s right. Gratitude is the Attitude to have. We are SO lucky not to be dead. Seeing a twelve-inch-diameter tree trunk bouncing off the hood of the car, then sailing over the moon roof was the kind of event that makes one want to spend more time playing the harp, knitting, or doing hand-worked buttonholes and less time grumbling about the news. The fever and shingles are a Blessing--I’m delighted with an excuse to wallow in oatmeal baths and read until the water goes cold. Secretly, I love feeling crummy because I get to do things that make me feel so much better. I LOVE lying under this tree and listening to LIFE in every size and shape pulsing, singing, chirping, tweeting, hissing, and buzzing. I’m thrilled to be HERE NOW. I hope you are too.

2020 is being pretty rough on a lot of us. It’s Ok. We need stuff like this to see how strong we are, how much fun we can have despite the circumstances, and to remember what is truly important to us. Every time something seems to be going wrong (like finding out my health insurance was actually tangled up with another woman named Nancy Bell, who is ninety-six and lives in Burlington) I slap my palms together, laugh, and say “YESSSS… Bring it!” If this isn’t for my Highest Good, it makes a damn good story. When you adore absurdities as much as I do, all of Life becomes a festival. Bad luck may come in threes but blessings are unlimited.

So! Let us be merry! And let the Mending continue…

Yours aye, with love & laughter,

Nancy

P.S. Suddenly, a thought occurs to me. Another “thing.” I just realized that after the walk-through, the listing agent gave me the automatic garage door opener so that I could use it to get into the house tomorrow. The keys will be in the kitchen. That garage door opener just got towed away with the car…. Sara June’s words come to mind: “Curiosity is the way in. It is difficult to be curious and also have a plan.” Curiosity will definitely be the way in, as having “plans” seems like a waste of time today!